The Complete Yoga Community

Bev Moss turns the key on forgiveness and explains how to let go of the negative emotions that hold us back…

The vast majority of people have a misconception of what “forgiveness” really means. People say “I have nothing to forgive”, or “I don’t want to forgive”, or, “I’ll forgive, but never forget”.

L et’s face it, we can’t undo what has been done – it’s in the past – but, when you don’t forgive or acknowledge that you have something to forgive, you keep yourself in a kind of metaphysical prison – your soul is trapped and you begin to slowly fade into a state of nothingness. When we are in this state of unforgiveness we actually physically manifest the pain – we look older, we can’t get up in the mornings or go to bed as easily at night and we allow life-limiting illnesses into our lives and physical pain ensues.

We need to be pro-active and courageous in the moment our negative thoughts and feelings arise and begin a process of slowly becoming detached from the pain.

Understanding our emotions
Guilt is a very powerful and deadening emotion. Guilt in itself can, as it were, close down the energy systems of your body, and thereby lessen, and in extreme cases, even cut off the flow of divine energy and love to the body entirely.

Your pain has got nothing to do with others – it is all yours. If you are hurt, you are hurting because of your own self as only you have the power to make yourself feel a specific way. What has happened in the past can’t be undone just because you wished it were so and therefore we have to do something about it. Guilt is a wasteful emotion – it’s what we do with it that becomes important.

Those guilty, negative, destructive, belittling self thoughts you may be having because you cannot or will not forgive also just start setting you up to be hurt again, so we must ask why we keep holding onto the feelings of extreme unhappiness that it causes and learn to let go. But first we must take control.

Taking Control
If you keep acting in the same unforgiving way and keep doing what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what it is you’ve always received. So start changing what you are doing and the place to start is with your thoughts. Become intimately aware of your thoughts because your reality is actually just a sum total of the thoughts that you think.

Every time you think a negative thought like “life is a struggle”, it sends this message to every cell in your body. This is the message your entire being is resonating with and therefore receiving, and this thought further gets sent out into the universe. It’s a natural law of science that like attracts like, so you are creating this reality and your life becomes a struggle on many levels.

When you find it impossible to forgive another, you remain energetically connected to that person and you are allowing the pain, the abuse and the trauma to remain with you. Forgiveness is not something you can or cannot do. It is simply a matter of choosing to change your thoughts, beliefs and ideas about a given situation or person in your life.

The best part of solving this problem of forgiveness is that you have this choice. You can either choose to stay where you are in life, stuck as the victim, martyr, the not-good-enough, the I-don’t-deserve or whoever it is you call yourself or, you can take your power back and start taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions. When you change yourself, your world will change for the better too.

Letting Go
The word “forgiveness” simply means “to let go” and “release”, but we find ourselves clinging to that other negative emotion called anger. People would rather stay angry at a person than forgive them.

When you forgive someone else, you are actually releasing yourself from them and not the other way round. Suppressed or repressed anger is more lethal to you than owning a weapon – over a period of time suppressed anger creates illness and disease in the body. So we must learn to let go.

Change Requires Changing
Some people are too scared to realise their full potential and become the whole person they really are. So, the only decision that you have to make regarding forgiveness is: “Am I willing to let go of the pain, or will I allow this situation to continue to persecute me?”

Be aware of the areas in which you hold judgements, fears, angers and all the old patterns and emotions that keep you stuck. Be committed to self-knowledge and start harvesting that willingness to forgive. As we practice forgiveness our anger, judgements and fears become less charged. Practising forgiveness is a wonderful process as it gives you the power to live in your compassionate heart. When you let go, you free yourself up to be the person that you really are, and are better able to realise your potential.

The Promise of Forgiveness
True forgiveness only comes from a guiltless heart. It comes from a soul that has truly forgiven itself and is in the full light of selfacceptance. Forgiveness is a choice as is the choice not to forgive and it is an important aspect of spiritual growth. Forgiveness hands you the key to the light of your soul.

Forgiveness creates harmony in the universe because you give yourself as well as another the passport to more freedom and joy. You’ll become increasingly joyous and begin loving who you are and what you do again and live in the light of your truth.

Through forgiveness we can manifest love and this love is growth and, with growth, you eventually attain wholeness of being. Forgiveness of others and self-acceptance are the keys to surviving the upheavals of a turbulent world. Forgiveness is a quality of grace that allows joy and light to flow. Learning to forgive will teach you much about yourself and will empower you to live with compassion. Look within. That is where you will find the answers. Get in touch with the God within, and let the God
within shine without.